Eight
by Kilrez
Summary: When all other avenues are exhausted, how does a simple diagnostician get a form signed? HouseCuddy, because I can. Fairly drabbleish.
1. Chapter 1

**Eight**

Strong sexual references. Young'uns and my sister, avert your eyes now. This blame for this one lies with the writers of the show who have us so perfectly balanced, uncertain of how... 'intimate' Cuddy and House have ever been. Oh yeah, and the premise that the banter never changes, whatever the situation.

* * *

'Cuddy. Sign this.' 

'Of course. Whatever it is. Just bring it over here.' Her tone had sarcasm enough to dry up the red sea.

'Phew. I thought maybe you'd be unreasonable about it.' House mimed his relief with a wave of the page he held, limping a few steps closer to her desk.

'House, your definition of reasonable is so far out, it's almost come full circle. Even if you slowly and carefully explain to me exactly what's on that form, and leave nothing out, I _still_ probably won't end up signing it.'

House sighed mournfully, shrugging. 'I guess Kelly Blackman dies then,' he said, making to leave.

'House.'

He looked over his shoulder inquiringly. 'Bring it here,' she growled at him. Flashing her a sweet smile, he returned to her desk and flipped the form down in front of her.

She scanned over it quickly, recognising the authorisation form for a diagnostic surgical procedure. Nothing that he should have had any difficultly getting.

'What do you want to do?' she asked suspiciously.

'Nothing that the crusaders didn't do,' he replied casually.

'The crusaders _disembowelled_ people.'

'Bingo.'

'I think… maybe my hearing… is going.'

'It's either that or your sense. They say it happens with old age. But you should see the bionic ears they've got these days.'

'House you can't disembowel someone!'

'But _Cuddy,_' he whined, looking at her pleadingly. She met his gaze, demanding that he do better to persuade her than that. Dropping the façade he rolled his eyes, then got down to business, speaking matter-of-factly.

'There are symptoms indicative of a problem with the peritoneal lining. It's not showing up on any of the scans because she's bleeding all over the place.'

'Great! Let's operate,' said Cuddy brightly. House gave her a Look.

'The blood is from a few small sclerosis- easy enough to plug once were in there. An arthroscope will confirm our diagnosis, which is good, since she won't take treatment without confirmation meaning she'll kick it within a week.'

Cuddy met his eyes for several seconds, and he returned her gaze openly, waiting for her to agree. Finally she sighed and quickly scribbled her signature on the bottom of the form, thrusting the bit of paper at him tiredly.

'Why thankyou Dr. Cuddy. Foreman's just getting the patient consent now, so she'll be in surgery in a few hours, if you're interested.' He took the paper with a flourish and turned to go once more, but paused as he opened the door, glancing over his shoulder at her. 'My place, eight.'

'House, I can't tonight,' she told him firmly, if a little regretfully. And there was that look again. Cuddy didn't have time to assert herself further before he'd slipped out and was gone. She rolled her eyes and tried to drag herself back to the paper work.

**oo00OO00oo**

House lounged on his couch, taking the first sip of the deliciously cold beer in his hand. A second one, freshly poured, waited on the coffee table. Barely a second later, the doorbell rang, and a small smile played across his lips.

Taking another sip, he set his beer down and levered himself to his feet with his cane, swinging across to the door in three long strides. Peering quickly through the peephole, he firmly made sure to erase his slightly smug smile, before pulling the door open.

Cuddy tilted her head slightly, daring him to say something. House blinked at her innocently, having enough gall to even throw in a bit of a questioning look in there, as though he didn't know why she had come.

'Oh, shut up,' she told him, taking a step forwards and slipping an arm around his waist, resting her forehead on his shoulder and clinging to him. House looked down at her in mock surprise.

'Hard day Dr. Cuddy?' he asked, as he glanced out into the corridor before swinging the door shut.

'Absolutely,' she mumbled into his shoulder. 'There's this arsehole doctor who likes convincing me to sign consent forms on dangerous surgeries by using emotional blackmail.'

'Emotional blackmail? Sounds nasty.' He reached up with his free left hand to toy with the ends of her long brown hair.

'Hmm,' she replied, savouring the embrace for several more seconds before pulling back to look at him.

'Beer?' he offered her. She glanced over behind him to where the condensation was newly forming on the glass.

'You're very sure of yourself aren't you?'

He gave a half shrug, blinking at her with wide, innocent eyes. 'You're here, aren't you?'

Cuddy scowled at him, detangling herself and walking past him to flop down on the couch. House never saw her flop at the hospital. It was only at his place that she ever relaxed enough to stop being an administrator.

Smirking, he noticed her clothes as he moved to sit next to her, picking up his glass again. 'Straight from the hospital,' he observed. 'That's a really bad day.'

'Uh huh,' she agreed, kicking off her heels and sighing in relief before shuffling slightly closer until she could lean against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He tried to covertly capture the scent of her hair. She smiled as she felt him breathing.

'I should keep you as my maid,' she commented, holding up the beer in demonstration. 'You could give foot rubs.'

'Only if I get to rifle through your underwear draw.'

'None of it'll fit you.'

'You sure about that? You have been heard to comment on the fineness of my hind end.'

'I have not,' she protested, but her voice was slightly lazy as she relaxed into him. Almost absently, his free hand strayed down to stroke her knee, and he took another sip of his beer.

'Maybe I was getting you confused with Wilson.'

'I hear confusion can happen with old age,' she taunted him. He smiled where she couldn't see him.

'Mm, I age like fine wine,' he told her, kissing the crown of her head.

'You're already well past vinegar,' she retorted, sitting up briefly so she could take a long draught of beer, before setting it down and snuggling closer into him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, letting his dangling hand lightly stroke her side. She gave a small, delicious shiver.

'Comment like that shows you're cranky. And you only get cranky when you're tired. So it'd probably be best if you just go to sleep.'

'Do you enjoy having testicles? Because it seems not, and I'd been only to happy to fix them for you.'

'You're right. You're cranky all the time. Sex it is.'

'Such a romantic,' Cuddy drawled, looking up at him. He raised an eyebrow; teasingly lowering his face towards her, but not drawing close enough for a kiss. She let out a low growl, slipping a hand around the back of his neck and dragging him down to her. House resisted briefly, before obligingly engaging her in a deep, crushing kiss, smiling slightly against her lips.

Cuddy was breathless by the time he pulled away, although House was barely panting.

'Damn your lung capacity,' she grumped. He gave her a sly smile. 'You like it for some things,' he reminded her. She kissed him again, reminding him that she liked him for a lot of things.

Whilst Cuddy was otherwise engaged, House carefully worked the zipper on her skirt down, slipping a hand inside it to cop a feel of her panties.

'Mm,' she murmured into his lips, pulling away momentarily. He wondered if she was in the mood for toying with him, because his strength of will for resisting Cuddy would seriously embarrass him in front of his team. But no, she only moved far away enough so she could shimmy her skirt off, dropping it on the floor and quickly straddling him, rising up on her knees so she was above him, her hair falling in soft curtains either side of his face.

Instead of meeting her eyes, like she's anticipated, House decided to ogle cleavage instead. 'Now there's a sight I never get tired of,' he commented. Giving a soft snort (which broke slightly as he ran one palm up the back of her bare thigh to her rounded buttocks), she used a delicate hand to tilt his chin up. He raised an eyebrow, and she returned his look challengingly, although she was shifting back against his hand.

A moment later House jumped, realising she'd snuck a hand down to his groin whilst he was distracted with fondling her ass. His fly was undone with rapid efficiency, and soon he was the one shifting under her touch, reaching up to capture her in a hot kiss. He felt her smiling in triumph as she arched over him, talented fingers drawing him into arousal.

'Remember…' she started, as she pulled away, a smile still on her lips, 'last time we tried it on the couch.'

House winced on cue, grabbing her by the hips as he sat up, bringing their torsos together. 'Now would be the time to pick you up and bodily throw you to the bed, before taking you in a manly fashion,' he breathed, almost against her lips.

Cuddy gave him a wry look, undulating once against him and watching his eyes flicker briefly out of focus. 'Somehow, I don't think you'll be doing any picking up any time soon. Although you are definitely wearing too many clothes,' she told him as an afterthought, toying with the hem of his t-shirt.

'I could say the same for you,' he replied, even as he stroked her bare thigh with the hand that wasn't supporting her hip.

'No chance Dr. House.' She abruptly pulled upwards, stepping off him at the same time as stripping his shirt off, leaving him contemplating her with a pout, deliciously ruffled hair, and a naked chest.

'Better,' she confirmed. House's expression switched to one of amusement as he pushed himself up to stand in front of her, taking one hopping step forward and heavily favouring his leg. Cuddy ignored it, stepping backwards and drawing him along with her, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

'Why you minx Dr. Cuddy. I do believe you just want to see me naked.' He shook his head in mock disappointment before lunging forward and grabbing her hips again, pulling her flush against him. A lusty kiss quelled any protest she may have made.

'Phew. You're feeling frisky tonight,' she commented him after a long, silent interval. A slight thrust of his hips answered his point sufficiently, and she licked her lips in anticipation.

'How about a tour of the house? We can start with the bed.'

'For that terrible line, you should be summarily shot.'

'You love the corniness,' retorted House, releasing her. With a flick of her hair, she flounced past him, disappearing into the bedroom. He admired the sway of her hips with a leering grin, before shaking himself and slowly limping after her.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The next morning, House woke first, muscles pleasantly stiff. He lay perfectly still for a few minutes, listening to the light breathing that was Cuddy sleeping. Pink light was just starting to finger through the curtains, which meant they'd have to get up soon and head off to work. The first few times, they'd had trouble, until Cuddy had started keeping a few clothes and toiletries at his place so she didn't have to run home first. Now, it meant she could sleep in for a little while longer. Smiling, House opened his eyes and turned his head to see her lying next to him, brown curls tangled on the pillow.

On a whim, he wrapped a strong arm around her and drew her closer, dropping a soft kiss onto her lips. She stirred under him, blinking her eyes sleepily open.

'Ngguh?'

'Coherent. Your makeup's smudged by the way.'

'Well you didn't give me a chance to take it off last night,' she murmured, her voice thick with sleep. Smiling, he kissed her again, before lowering his head and nibbling along her neck; smug in the knowledge that there was probably some lipstick smeared places that would make Foreman choke.

'Mmm, House, we have to get to work…'

'I've… got…a better… idea…' he mumbled, between kisses and small nips. She'd tilted her chin up slightly to give him access, even as she protested.

'House, stop it.'

'Now say it and mean it,' he replied glibly, briefly pulling away to give her a mischievous look with blue eyes twinkling, before bending his head again. Cuddy let out a shuddering sigh that sounded a lot like surrender.

House shifted until she was underneath him and he had better access to her body. He noted with satisfaction that her eyes had flickered closed as he tasted her smooth skin, soon turning her breathing ragged.

'You think maybe this… ngk… is why Cameron wants you?' Cuddy managed to gasp out. House briefly raised his head, sardonic expression on his face.

'Are you suggesting I've already been giving Cameron free samples?'

'You're an idiot if you haven't been.'

House looked briefly contemplative, pausing over her stomach. 'So you're saying you'd be willing to dress up in silk teddies and have pillow fights with her for my benefit?'

'Pig. I'm saying: you should have given her a go. She'd be good for you.'

'Incredibly hot sex is also good for me. And can a pig do this?'

Cuddy let out a low moan, her fingers moving to tangle in his short hair.

'Cameron's possibly the one person that might be… ggk… able to…hnh… balance you…' she panted, vision blurring.

'I'm balanced. And may I point out that as my woman, you're not meant to be suggesting I cheat.'

''m not… your… woman… ahh…'

'Doesn't sound like it,' commented House amusedly, watching her carefully as he worked. Cuddy wasn't able to respond, rendered completely incoherent as she writhed and mewled.

Despite their activities the night before, it didn't take long. Cuddy subsided, panting, and House stalked back up her body to kiss her again.

'Now wasn't that more fun that going to work?'

'Guh…'

'Glad you thought so.'

Smiling slightly at her blissed-out expression, House pushed himself up and climbed out of bed, stretching as he stood and limping to the bathroom.

**oo00OO00oo**

'House!'

'Wruh wroh,' whispered House dramatically, ducking to hide behind Foreman, who bemusedly apologised to Cuddy with his expression. Lips pursed, she motioned him to one side, revealing the ineffectually cowering House.

'Traitor,' House snapped at Foreman, straightening.

'House, why the hell aren't you in the clinic?' she almost yelled, hands on hips. House blinked, drawing back slightly. 'That's quite a lung capacity you've got there Dr. Cuddy,' he commented dryly, disappointed when he didn't even get a flicker of the eyes.

'I'll resort to emotional blackmail if I have to,' she warned him, expression dangerous, whilst mirth silently danced within her at turning House's game back on him. He retaliated in sort.

'My my. Cranky today, aren't we? Didn't get much sleep last night?' That got her, and she let out a long-suffering sigh to cover it.

'House, just go change into some scrubs and get down there. There's kids throwing up all over the place.'

'Why Dr. Cuddy… I do believe you're just trying to get me out of my clothes.' He made his tone coy, and Foreman rolled his eyes at House's attempts to sexually harass his boss.

'Sure. Out of your clothes, and into some scrubs.'

'How about a bribe?'

'Sure. I'll let you give me a foot rub if you get down there this second.'

'Hmm,' House looked thoughtful, pretending to consider it. 'Nyah. I was thinking more in terms of some of your lacy underthings in compensation.'

'They wouldn't fit you,' Cuddy retorted, echoing their conversation from last night. House winked, before standing and exiting. Cuddy sighed again, for Foreman's benefit, before casually following him out. Once out of Foreman's sight, she sped up, catching up with the cripple easily.

'My place, eight.' She said as she drew abreast of him. He raised his eyebrows in amusement, looking down at the shorter woman.

'Feeling a little insecure are we?'

'No. I want to tie you to the bed, and I'm not lugging the chains all the way over to your house.'

House stopped dead, brain momentarily shorted as Cuddy continued on down the hall like nothing had happened, although a small smile was playing across her lips.

The End.


End file.
